What sustains someone through decades of ministry? When Revd Chris Friend met with St Hild’s Baptist Ministers in Training, he reflected on leadership, holiness, accountability, innovation and the realities of serving God’s church. In this three-part series, we share some of the wisdom he has gathered along the way.
Blog Part 2
Church is messy. Like, really messy. You need to be disabused of the notion that, because we are united in Christ, we will all be united all the time. The church is gloriously eclectic and different because Jesus came for everyone.
This is fantastic. It also brings challenges. For example, as a church, taking the encouragement from the Baptist Union, we engaged in a conversation around sexuality for six months in 2024. It was necessary but also painful and costly.
I’ve struggled when people are not prepared to ‘agree to disagree’. When people hold something as an absolute truth and see another’s view as less than the truth. This is shaky ground. Conflict transformation is essential. That’s a step beyond conflict resolution, especially when someone stands in front of me telling me I’m wrong.
It’s important to work as brothers and sisters in Christ in tough matters. Whether that be in the local setting or at a national level, we have to do better in our interactions with each other. To dialogue well and respect each other. And if people choose to stay in your congregation, or to move on, to be committed to see that through well, with honour. After all, we’re on holy ground.
Messiness is a glorious sign of the eclectic mix of God’s kingdom, but it is hard. In ministry, hold on to that and don’t allow yourself to wear rose-tinted spectacles. Be real about the privilege and also the cost. Carrying the cross of Jesus has always had a cost.
Community Innovation and Inclusion
Whilst we honour and hold onto what is good, we aim to stretch our tent wide, take initiative, and recognise God as a great innovator. If we join in with what God’s doing, it can be amazing to see Him at work in our community.
Our context in Alnwick is an inherited and traditional congregation, but we also value emerging communities and meeting outside church walls. We talk about ‘church family’ rather than ‘congregation’—the people who meet on various days in different places. Everyone is included, whether or not they’re at the Sunday service. The language that we use can have a direct impact on how someone feels valued or otherwise.
Empowerment and Shared Leadership
It’s important to identify, encourage, and equip others in church life. I preach once a month—not because I’m avoiding it, but because there are others as capable or more capable, and I want to encourage their gifts. We have pioneers in the church; we seek to equip them for mission and affirm what they do. As ministers, we don’t do everything; we should identify, encourage, and equip based on being in Christ.
Seasons of Ministry, Rest, and Letting Go
Resting is not inactivity—sometimes, as a church, we just need to be, not do.
For years, we ran a coffee van for the late-night economy, serving coffee to people leaving pubs, and being present in the community. After COVID, volunteers dropped off, and pushing at something out of habit is not always right. So, we allowed it to end.
Sometimes God allows things to happen for a season; then it may be right to pause or rest. To dig roots deeper for the next season. Remember the unforced rhythms of grace that Jesus encouraged in Matthew 11. These are times of restoring and refuelling.
Revd. Chris Friend spoke to the Baptist Ministers in Training at St Hild Centre for Baptist Ministry. He is the Co-Minister at Alnwick Baptist Church and the Mission & Pioneer Development Facilitator for the Northern Baptist Association.
Find out more: sthild.org/baptist